NEW JOB

I got a new job!!

I start tomorrow. Finally. It's been FIVE MONTHS since I was laid off. Thank goodness for unemployment benefits...

What's That Smell?

Yesterday, the neighbors upstairs were cooking something that smelled like death. I didn't want to have to leave my apartment, so I rubbed lotion under my nose. It helped.

A Little Kinky

We were driving past a cherry orchard and suddenly my hubby stops the car. He gets out the blanket that we keep in the trunk and motions for me to follow him into the orchard. Long story short...we ended up making love in the middle of a random cherry orchard on the side of the road. Saucy, huh? ;)

I Wish You Made Sense

Remember this post? Well we've since become friends again. Anyways, Rachel has been trying to have a baby for about a year and a half now. She got pregnant around December and told everyone. You don't tell people you're pregnant with your first as soon as you find out - the risk of having a miscarriage is obscenely high. Long story short, she did miscarry. The devistation of that, combined with enormous amounts of stress from her job moved her to quit. Now she wants to start a business - custom wedding veils and headpieces. Good luck with that... :\

She posts on her blog that she's made business cards (generic ones with her name and phone number - no mention of what the business is) because she's going to this women's convention this week. So, being the nosy person that I am, I google the convention and find out that it's called something like "Moms Who Make Stuff". It's a networking/lecture series all about how to juggle your business with your children. Hold up. She doesn't have children, so it doesn't even apply to her. Plus, she hasn't started any business yet - no customers, no examples of her work, nothing. So why is she going to this conference?? Waste of $80 if you ask me. (Yeah I looked up how much she paid too)

Watermelon

I was at the market the other day and I picked out a watermelon that looked good. Just before I was about to put it in my cart, I noticed the guy next to me thumping his watermelon. So I thumped mine. I really didn't know what I was listening for, but the watermelon was good nonetheless.

Spider

There's a black mark on my white wall, behind my computer. I always think it's a spider when I sit down. It never is.

Family Matters

My husband's family has been in town for the past week. **So this might turn into a huge rant** Although it's been fun, it's been super stressful! His mom is really scatter-brained and doesn't know how to prioritize or judge how long things will take, so she's consistently late and forgetful.

-We were at Wal-Mart and she walked up to this lady who was holding a baby (two weeks old, mind you) and started touching the baby. You just don't do that - you don't touch strangers' babies!
-At a family picnic, there was a very distant relative that she had never met before. This woman's daughter's cup was sitting by my mother-in-law. She picks up the cup and tells this random lady that she's going to drink her daughter's drink because "her name isn't on it". Seriously?? Who does that??

-She doesn't drink alcohol and doesn't allow her children to drink it either. We were at a family gathering where there was beer and soda. Her 19 year-old son had poured out the root beer in his can and filled it with beer. She loves root beer and for some reason she decided to pick up her son's can of root beer and chug it. (Once again, drinking someone else's drink - why does she do this??) She got a mouth-full of beer and spit it out and started gagging. She was so distraught. I didn't feel bad for her - I even laughed - serves her right for eating and drinking other peoples' things.

-My husband and I are in charge of the nursery at our church. She loves kids, so she asked if she could come and play with the kids on Sunday. I didn't see any harm in it, but as soon as she got there, she started taking pictures of the kids - and kept taking pictures of them the whole time. Awkward... Why does she want pictures of kids she doesn't know and will never see again?

-Last night we were at another family dinner and she was trying to get everyone to play this Family Feud game on the computer. (Like 10 on 10...there's no way) It was complete pandemonium when finally one of her kids told her that she didn't know what she was doing and then he proceeded to take over and got everyone organized. Well apparently that was a huge blow to her because she started crying and came to my husband for sympathy. Sigh.

-Oh, and she wore leggings in the pool... :\
Does anyone else have in-law stories??