NEW JOB

I got a new job!!

I start tomorrow. Finally. It's been FIVE MONTHS since I was laid off. Thank goodness for unemployment benefits...

What's That Smell?

Yesterday, the neighbors upstairs were cooking something that smelled like death. I didn't want to have to leave my apartment, so I rubbed lotion under my nose. It helped.

A Little Kinky

We were driving past a cherry orchard and suddenly my hubby stops the car. He gets out the blanket that we keep in the trunk and motions for me to follow him into the orchard. Long story short...we ended up making love in the middle of a random cherry orchard on the side of the road. Saucy, huh? ;)

I Wish You Made Sense

Remember this post? Well we've since become friends again. Anyways, Rachel has been trying to have a baby for about a year and a half now. She got pregnant around December and told everyone. You don't tell people you're pregnant with your first as soon as you find out - the risk of having a miscarriage is obscenely high. Long story short, she did miscarry. The devistation of that, combined with enormous amounts of stress from her job moved her to quit. Now she wants to start a business - custom wedding veils and headpieces. Good luck with that... :\

She posts on her blog that she's made business cards (generic ones with her name and phone number - no mention of what the business is) because she's going to this women's convention this week. So, being the nosy person that I am, I google the convention and find out that it's called something like "Moms Who Make Stuff". It's a networking/lecture series all about how to juggle your business with your children. Hold up. She doesn't have children, so it doesn't even apply to her. Plus, she hasn't started any business yet - no customers, no examples of her work, nothing. So why is she going to this conference?? Waste of $80 if you ask me. (Yeah I looked up how much she paid too)

Watermelon

I was at the market the other day and I picked out a watermelon that looked good. Just before I was about to put it in my cart, I noticed the guy next to me thumping his watermelon. So I thumped mine. I really didn't know what I was listening for, but the watermelon was good nonetheless.

Spider

There's a black mark on my white wall, behind my computer. I always think it's a spider when I sit down. It never is.

Family Matters

My husband's family has been in town for the past week. **So this might turn into a huge rant** Although it's been fun, it's been super stressful! His mom is really scatter-brained and doesn't know how to prioritize or judge how long things will take, so she's consistently late and forgetful.

-We were at Wal-Mart and she walked up to this lady who was holding a baby (two weeks old, mind you) and started touching the baby. You just don't do that - you don't touch strangers' babies!
-At a family picnic, there was a very distant relative that she had never met before. This woman's daughter's cup was sitting by my mother-in-law. She picks up the cup and tells this random lady that she's going to drink her daughter's drink because "her name isn't on it". Seriously?? Who does that??

-She doesn't drink alcohol and doesn't allow her children to drink it either. We were at a family gathering where there was beer and soda. Her 19 year-old son had poured out the root beer in his can and filled it with beer. She loves root beer and for some reason she decided to pick up her son's can of root beer and chug it. (Once again, drinking someone else's drink - why does she do this??) She got a mouth-full of beer and spit it out and started gagging. She was so distraught. I didn't feel bad for her - I even laughed - serves her right for eating and drinking other peoples' things.

-My husband and I are in charge of the nursery at our church. She loves kids, so she asked if she could come and play with the kids on Sunday. I didn't see any harm in it, but as soon as she got there, she started taking pictures of the kids - and kept taking pictures of them the whole time. Awkward... Why does she want pictures of kids she doesn't know and will never see again?

-Last night we were at another family dinner and she was trying to get everyone to play this Family Feud game on the computer. (Like 10 on 10...there's no way) It was complete pandemonium when finally one of her kids told her that she didn't know what she was doing and then he proceeded to take over and got everyone organized. Well apparently that was a huge blow to her because she started crying and came to my husband for sympathy. Sigh.

-Oh, and she wore leggings in the pool... :\
Does anyone else have in-law stories??

Shower

Do you pee in the shower? I do. :)

Airport

Do you feel safe sleeping in an airport with all of your belongings easily accessable to everyone?

Text Convo

Last Monday I had the weirdest text conversation with a random guy:

Him (Out of the blue, mind you): In a meeting out of state! Can you text?
Me: Who is this?
Him: Ted
Me: I have no idea who you are. I think you have the wrong number...
Him: Ted Heap. I think we've met before.
Me: Nope. Sorry buddy.
-Then he didn't respond.

Two days later, I randomly receive this text from the same number:
What is your situation? Keep me updated. I'm working very hard to get you some cash. It shouldn't be much longer.
To which I replied:
Dude. I don't know you. Stop texting me.

Who the heck is this guy trying to get ahold of??
On second thought, maybe I should have played along. Free cash is free cash, right? NOT! This guy is a creeper...

You can't make up these things that happen to me!

Better

Feeling much better!
I finally got my butt to the gym on Friday and I was there for almost 2 hours!!
Then on Saturday, hubby and I went on a hike with some good friends. :)

Self-Loathing

Today has been a bad day:



My wedding ring is nowhere to be found.

I feel like a walrus. At least we weigh the same.

I was thinking about trying Alli because it's FDA-approved and I've heard nothing but good things about it. But then my husband pointed out that we have gym memberships that we pay for, so "why not just go to the gym?" Of course, but pills are easier. That made me feel worse because I realized I haven't been to the gym in months!

I haven't worn make-up since I went to church on Sunday.

I haven't showered since Monday.

I don't even put on clothes until I get the mail at around 4.

I have no motivation- I sit at the computer ALL day long.

We have ants again. And they brought their flying buddies back with them. :(

I need a vacation.

Unemployed

I have been unemployed for over two months now.
I went to lunch with two of my former coworkers last week and they reminded me I should apply for unemployment. Me? File for unemployment?? It seemed so low, so money-sucking, so needy and helpless.
I'm an independent woman!
But I caved and filed. Free money, right? ;)

Shampoo & Conditioner

I am a shampoo and conditioner theif. I always take them from hotels, if they smell good. So I had a stack to choose from when we recently went on a small vacation. I picked a Bath & Body Works scent - Coconut Lime Verbena, one of my all-time favorites!

I shower at my sister's house and something's weird. This is not normal shampoo and conditioner. Back up. Does B&BW even make shampoo and conditioner?? I don't remember ever seeing that on the shelves. Here's what I think: they put body wash in the shampoo bottles and lotion in the conditioner bottles and market it to hotels. Those dirty tyrants! My hair felt weird the whole time I was on vacation. :\

Happy Mother's Day!!

Happy Mother's Day to all of you mothers out there!

Yield

A yield sign (above) is NOT a stop sign (below).

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people have a yield sign and they regard it as a stop sign. There is a reason they are two different signs! If you are yielding, you merge. That means you either speed up to get in front of the next car, or you slow down a bit to let them pass and then you get in behind them. People who are in the main stream of traffic should not have to alter their speed in order to get around you coming in to their lane.

Sorry, I had an experience this morning where a guy was supposed to yield to me and instead almost ran me off the road. He just kept driving right next to me as the lanes merged together - scary!

Met a Goal

I'm just putting this out there, because I'm proud of myself. I used to be in the 250s, then I moved down to the 240s, and as of this morning, I am in the 230s!! :D

A Little About Me

Here are some tidbits about me:
1. I have been married since July 2008. This is both my husband's and my first (and last) marriage.

2. I am currently unemployed. I was laid off a little over a month ago.

3. I am a part-time student at a private university.

4. We have no kids, yet.

5. I was raised in San Antonio, Texas and will hopefully be moving back eventually.

6. I love cooking! I love trying out new recipes and finding new family favorites.

7. We have a big fish tank with a giant goldfish, two suckerfish, two pretty who-knows-what-they-are fish, and a rainbow shark.

8. I love to visit Las Vegas and New York.

9. My husband and I are both overweight and working on it.

10. I love photography - being behind the lens and also appreciating others' work.

11. My husband and I have recently discovered geocaching. It's one of our favorite hobbies now.

12. I have a thing about grammar and spelling.

13. Blogging is less of a "diary" kind of thing, and more of a outlet.

14. I often judge people by their shoes.

15. I love to travel.

16. My favorite color is blue.

17. My favorite food is turtle cheesecake. Maybe that's why I'm overweight...

18. I drink 8+ cups of water every day. Once again, working on losing weight.

19. I weight myself every morning on my Wii Fit.

20. I hate cats.

21. I have no allergies whatsoever.

22. I bite my nails. Usually during movies.

23. I always have to have my toenails painted.

24. I drive a Toyota Avalon.

25. The only make-up I wear is mascara and eyeliner.

Poor Jack

We got a frog this past Saturday and the girl at the pet store dropped him on the floor not once, but twice - I should have taken the hint. But no, we took him home and named him Jack. My husband gets up the next morning (Easter Sunday) and can't find the frog in the tank - he thought it was just hiding somewhere. Five hours later, he sees something hopping around on the floor. Who knows how long the frog had been out of the tank....he was covered in hair and dust and dirt. :\ So hubby puts him back in the tank and he was doing alright but then we came home later that afternoon and found this:

We thought he was just chilling by the tower. But no, that's how he died, standing up. Or trying to jump... :(

Flossy Flossy

Let's be honest - I don't floss every day. I'm lucky if I floss 4 times a week. However, I have always known that you floss before you brush. That way you get all the junk out and then brush it away. My hubby on the other hand, believes that it doesn't matter when you floss, as long as it gets done (he flosses after he brushes). What do you think? Should you floss before or after?

Happy Easter!!

Happy Easter!!

Behind His Back

My friend, we'll call her Jennifer, went to her husband's work party and her husband won an iPod. He wanted to upgrade it, so he returned it to the store and got cash for it! When does that ever happen? It was about $300, and he put it in their joint bank account. His birthday is on Sunday (yeah, Easter) and all he asked for was a Wii. Nothing else - pretty much that or nothing.

Jennifer is NOT tech-savvy and knows nothing about electronics whatsoever. Since I have a Wii, she was asking me about how much it costs and what games would be fun to get, etc yesterday morning. Then, in the afternoon, she randomly goes to a computer liquidation/surplus sale (like I said, she knows NOTHING about electronics). She ends up spending the $300 that HE won, that he generously offered her to use for HIS birthday gift on an old piece of shit laptop that doesn't run very well and the keys rattle when you type on it!!

I could see if it was a good deal (you can get new laptops for $300...), or if she had a clue about electronics, or if she asked him first and he said yes, or if it was money not already deemed his birthday money. I just can't believe she did that, behind his back. And there are no refunds, so they're stuck with this junk. I feel so bad for her husband. I guess he won't be getting his Wii this year... :(

On A Lighter Note...

The ants are gone! Hallelujah! :)

Who Do You Think You Are?

Background: This girl, we'll call her Rachel, married her high school sweetheart, who happens to be one of my husband's best friends (they all went to high school together). The four of us hang out and double date all of the time. Amanda and I have hung out one-on-one a few times, and she even tried to get me a job at her company when I was unemployed and looking.

Story: Tonight I'm having a small girl's night in with a few of my girlfriends. I called to invite her on Saturday and got her voicemail. She is off and on instant messenger all day long at work (and sometimes even at home in the evenings), so yesterday morning I instant messaged her asking if she was planning on coming to my party. No response (even though it showed that she was on). I still have not heard anything back from her.

I don't mind if she doesn't come to my party - she's pretty shy and I understand that she wouldn't want to be placed in a social situation where she doesn't know very many people. I get that. But what I don't get is why she feels that ignoring me and leaving me wondering if she's coming or not is a good alternative to growing a pair and telling me she isn't coming. If you're not going to come, then just tell me you have something else going on or whatever. Who do you think you are that you can ignore people and dismiss them because of your own insecurities? I guess I thought we were better friends than you did. Fine by me. I don't need "friends" like you anyways.

Ants in My Pants

I walk into my kitchen yesterday and see a million ants crawling all over my sink, counter, and themselves. It was insane. I heard about spraying vinegar on them - it worked for a while, but they're starting to come back. I've cleaned everything and made sure all of the food is stored in air-tight containers. I don't even really know where the ants are coming from! Any suggestions?

Pathological Liars

I don't know what it is about me, but I seem to attract pathological liars. I don't know if they are just trying to impress me, or if they're like that all the time. When I've seen them interacting with other people, it doesn't seem like they're constantly trying to impress them and make themselves "look cool". So maybe they're just compulsive liars... But anyways, I seem to attract them and it's super agitating! It gets to the point where I don't even want to be around them anymore. Is this common?

Duct Tape

If only this would catch on...

Movie Review - Twilight

One word: vomit.

First of all, Edward was hideous! "Angel-like"? Not in a million years.
Then you had to get past all of the horrible acting. The best actor was Bella's dad and he had a tiny role.
Hubby and I were laughing out loud throughout most of the movie because it was SO CHEESY!!!

If there wasn't so much hype about the (awful) book, this movie would have tanked at the box office. Nuff said.

Stage Fright

If I walk in to the bathroom and there's only one other girl in there, especially if she's out in the common area and we make eye contact, I almost always have to wait until she's gone before I feel comfortable enough to start my business (even if it's just number one). The worst is when the other girl like hangs out in there. Who just hangs out in the bathroom? Leave already! Is it just me? Is it wrong to want some privacy in the bathroom?

Girl Scout Cookies

I bought THREE boxes of Thin Mints today. Should I have gotten more?? Will three boxes last me a whole year?

Mattress

Hubby and I haven't even had our mattress for a year and it's already weird. Neither of us are small people and the mattress has sunk in on both sides. I would just flip it, but it's a pillow top. Maybe we should just sleep sideways for a while?

Sexy...

Where can I get this guy's number??